Remember: Your partner may have rationale for why they are being abusive, but reasons and rational never excuse abuse. It is NEVER your fault if someone abuses you. All forms of abuse cause emotional harm, which is often the hardest to understand and heal from. Recent studies also show that children in the home with emotional abuse, even if it is not directed towards them, have much higher cases of PTSD, anxiety and learning issues.

Am I Being Abused?

Consider the following-

• Has your partner often seemed irritated or angry with you, although you never meant to upset them? Have you felt confused by their anger?
• Have you frequently felt perplexed and frustrated by your partner’s responses because you can’t get them to understand your intentions? 
• Has your partner acted jealous or possessive of you? Have they accused you of having affairs or paying too much attention to others? 
• Has your partner made you feel like you are mostly wrong and they are always right?
• Has your partner denied (I never did that), minimized (It wasn’t that bad) or justified their abuse (I wouldn’t have done that if you wouldn’t have done this)?

Walking on Eggshells

• Have you felt like you are always walking on eggshells? have you felt like you have to be especially careful to avoid conflicts?
• Does your partner called you bad names and put you down?
• Has your partner given you angry glares or looks that scare you? 
• Do they control what you do, who you see or talk to, or where you go?
• Has your partner deterred or discouraged you from relationships with your friends or family? 
• Does your partner control the money: withhold financial information, keep you from working, take your money, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money? 

Tells Me How I Should Feel

• Has your partner defined your feelings, opinions, needs, or wants? 
• Does your partner attempt or force you to have sex against your will?
• Does your partner manipulate or coerce you for sex?
• Has your partner told you you’re a bad parent and/or threaten to take away or hurt your children?
• Do they act like the abuse is no big deal, or like it’s all your fault, or even deny doing it?
• Has your partner followed you, shown up uninvited or wouldn’t leave when asked?
• Has your partner gone through your things, mail, email, text or social media?

Threatening To Harm Me or Pet

• Have they destroyed property (hit, kicked doors, walls, furniture, thrown items, broken things. etc.)?
• Has your partner threatened to harm, or has harmed or killed a family pet?
• Does your partner intimidate or threaten you with guns, knives or other weapons?
• Have they ever used a weapon to control or harm you? 
• Has your partner intimidated you, shoved, slapped, pinched kicked, restrained, hit or choked you? 
• Have they convinced or manipulated you to drop charges or a restraining/protective order?
• Do they threaten to commit suicide?
• Has your partner threatened to kill you or your family? 

Domestic violence and abuse is a pattern of behaviors used to gain and maintain power and control in an intimate relationship. If you are experiencing a pattern of behaviors described from this list, you may be in an abusive relationship.

Below is some helpful info. DO NOT DOWNLOAD if your computer is accessible to your abuser. Please go to a library or somewhere safe to download and/or print.

Types of Abuse Chart

15 Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship