A Choice for Family

Annabelle is a young woman who moved to Nairobi, the capital of Kenya, in search of greater opportunity and to be able to help family back home.  After weeks of living in the city she met a man who was eleven years older than her. Things moved quickly for them. After rushing into marriage, she soon became pregnant.

The relationship took a drastic turn. Annabelle experienced abuse on every level. It began with verbal abuse and having no say in any decisions. He would bring home a child that was not her own and was told, “This is my child, and you have to raise this child like your own.”

After being forced to relocate, she was completely isolated, had more children, and with out support. The abuse increased.

Physical violence was happening around her children She was forced to stay home if he wasn’t with her. She experienced this abuse for years. Annabelle blamed herself. Being so young when she married, she believed her abuser’s lies that she was at fault. He constantly told her how immature she was, that she should be more obedient. Annabelle felt confused and broken. She stayed for her children and tried to protect them.

All of this would continue until a tragic event changed their lives forever. Her son became very sick. Annabelle insisted on taking him to the hospital. She persisted to her husband, “This is not a normal fever, please let’s take him to the hospital”.

He refused and told her she didn’t know anything. After this continued for two weeks her husband agreed to take him to the hospital but refused to allow her to go to the hospital with them. Their son died from meningitis.

Annabelle was heartbroken. Her daughter asked, “Are we going to die like my brother?” That was the moment she knew she had to escape. She started by getting a job, doing anything she could around the community. Her husband left her and told her she would never be able to make it without him. It was a huge challenge to work and raise her children alone.

She found solace at a church who then introduced her to ARMS Kenya and the Her Journey Program, giving her the help, she needed to heal. She says, “I remember doing the class about choosing joy. I could not believe that I wasn’t the only one going through this and that it was not my fault. I learned that by choosing to live and choosing joy I was not being selfish. With tears in my eyes, I was reminded that I am valuable and that it was not my fault that he chose to be abusive. ARMS class helped me breathe again after so many years of resentment. Now I can show my daughter that she should never ever feel bad for loving herself.’’

Annabelle is a conqueror, and her kids live a better life because of her courage and the healing she received from the Her Journey program. One of her children received a scholarship to a university there. She thanks God she was able to return to herself, and to ARMS Kenya for guiding her through her healing.

ARMS has expanded internationally. ARMS Kenya has their own non-profit status (NGO). Many women have found healing since it was first introduced in Kenya in 2016. Stories of women and their families, like the one below, finding grace and healing offer a profound look into the impact that Her Journey has.

ARMS needs your help to continue to help women just like Annabelle. We can make a  difference! Please donate ARMS-Kenya by going to www.abuserecovery.org/give and select “International” in the drop down.