Nita’s life began with an alcoholic and abusive dad. Her mom left her when she was four and came back for her several years later. She was also abusive. Her mom remarried to another abuser. When Nita was 13 years old, her stepdad sexually assaulted her, but her mom refused to believe it. The sexual abuse continued throughout her teens.

When she became pregnant by her boyfriend at 17, their pastor decided they should marry. That it wasn’t an option. The cycle of abuse continued in their marriage, ending several years later after their second child was born.

Nita finally felt free to begin a new life. Parties and drinking became a regular hobby. She was searching for something but didn’t know what it was. She had left church and held onto her resentment towards religion. 

Nita ended up in another abusive relationship with Craig. She thought that’s just how relationships were. Nita would break up, separate, and make up with Craig. The abusive cycle continued for years. Even after a final break up two years prior, Nita’s now ex-boyfriend convinced her they should get back together. She agreed even though she had a gut feeling it was a bad idea. Two weeks later he physically abused her.  

Craig had been drinking and decided they should go out. Nita was in bed when he grabbed her arms and undressed her, forcing her into the shower. After following her around, he cornered her and grabbed her neck, pinning her to the wall.   

Nita wanted to call the police, but he wouldn’t give her phone back. Hiding in the bedroom, Nita kneeled and cried out to God, “Help me. I can’t do this anymore.” She realized she had her Apple watch on and called 911. Police arrived and Craig was court-mandated to attend a domestic violence program. Police arrived and Craig was court mandated to attend a domestic violence program. 

Nita received a call from the ARMS office and began to attend Her Journey. Craig contacted Nita continually from his  first day out of jail. He manipulated her, convincing her that she was the abuser and needed to attend Virtue, the ARMS women’s intervention program. Nita thought he was right about her being abusive and began attending while still denying any contact with him.   

Nita learned abuse wasn’t okay in Virtue– that it wasn’t normal. It taught her a lot about the effects of abuse on her kids, and she wanted to break the cycle for them. Nita shared honestly about the abuse done to her and the abuse she had done, including how she had been abusive to them. After each class, she shared what she learned. Her children began to feel safe and pointing out when she was abusive. “It was beautiful working together towards change,” Nita shared.   

Her kids started apologizing to one another and even to her. When Nita’s 14-year son apologized to her, she finally felt like she was doing something right, teaching him to be a better human being.  

The ARMS Virtue program helped Nita to accept her past and change it. It helped her to understand how God saw her. She was set free from the past. All her relationships improved.  

Nita shared, “I’m very grateful for the program. It changed my life, and my kid’s lives. It gave me a different perspective and purpose. I’m very   grateful God put this in my path. I now have a closer relationship with God and am a better person and mother.” 

Help us make a difference in the battle against domestic violence by making a monthly or one-time donation. Your donation will sponsor a survivor through our program, providing them with the support they need to heal and rebuild their life. Abuserecovery.org/give