This is when the target asserts the truth of who she is and what she believes. She DEFINES herself rather than allowing her emotionally/spiritually abusive partner to define her. She sets a healthy boundary that causes her to step outside the abuse cycle.
For example, when he tells her she cannot spend the money she earns from her new job without asking his permission, and she has to put it all into an account only he controls, she may say,
“I am an adult woman earning money. I will make adult decisions on my own about how I spend that money. We can share it and discuss our budget together like two adults, but I will not ask permission to spend it on something I need for myself or for the family or the household.”
Then she walks away because she doesn’t need to listen to what comes next.
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