ARMS ManKind Group

When I first attended the ARMS ManKind group, I didn’t believe that I had a cycle of abuse. In fact, I didn’t believe I was very abusive at all.

I didn’t know how abusive I was or how my actions affected those around me. Being preoccupied with doing things I only cared about, I disregarded other’s feelings. Sometimes I broke things out of anger, stop my wife from leaving our home, and often bullied people on the internet.

It took losing two very close friends and being arrested for violating a no-contact order before I was willing to consider the possibility that there was something wrong with me and my attitude.

Types of Abuse

While attending the Mankind classes, I began to see how the lessons could be applied to my life. With a little help, I was able to understand all the types of abuse and identify my abuse.

Once I started applying the things learned, I realized I was no longer choosing to see myself as the victim. I am able to make good choices in difficult situations. These changes make me feel good about myself.

I realized that ARMS isn’t just about being taught how to behave by the facilitators, it’s also about learning from others who have been in my place and  experienced change in their lives. At first, I wasn’t too comfortable with the idea of having to share with others in the group. But when I listened to the other men share how they have treated their partners, I saw myself and knew I needed to change.

When I finally began to open up, it wasn’t so bad – in fact it was often encouraging. I learned I am not alone or some helpless outcast.

There is hope for me and my future.

(name withheld)