Last year, my roommate horribly abused me. I left my home heavily damaged, with spit on my face, a contusion, and bruises on my body. With bills in my name left to pay, two moves in two months and nightmares, I felt utterly alone.

My whole life contained abuse. My parents divorced when I was eleven. Dad left and never returned. I wasn’t enough, I thought.  If I had been enough, he would have stayed.

I became sexually active at sixteen. I just wanted to be loved by someone, anyone. With each person I slept with, I only became emptier. This strengthened my belief, I am not enough.

I am not enough

I eventually married. He was a gift from God, I felt. We met at church, courted for six months and attended premarital counseling. We waited to have sex until our wedding night. I was going to do things right this time.

Three months into our marriage, the physical abuse began. I was shocked and saddened about repeating this familiar pattern. I decided I would play a role. More loving and obedient was key. This would keep him from leaving me. Maybe it would change over time.

It only got worse and our marriage ended.

I kept finding myself with abusive people, even my roommate.

Abusive Patterns

I was given the number to the ARMS office by my Business coach who encouraged me to call. She was concerned the abusive patterns would repeat if I didn’t get help. I didn’t believe ARMS was the answer. But knowing nothing else had worked, I finally called.

At the first class, they handed me a folder. As I looked at the information, I saw all the types of abuse I had endured. I was in shock. When I left, I felt angry and sad that this had been my life. I was a talented, loving, and a smart woman.

The Her Journey program motivated me to make a change. I wanted better. The remaining 14 classes helped me to embrace the truth about abuse and gave me  skills and tools to better my life. I learned how to truly forgive regardless of whether my abuser ever chose to change.

I Am Enough

God made me a beautiful masterpiece. I am enough. By courageously stepping into the first class and learning, I turned my life around. I will never live in domestic abuse again.

These classes were powerful and life-changing. I still participate in the classes today.

Today I feel safe and healthy. Even though I live alone, I am not lonely. l have learned how to become financially independent. To set healthy boundaries for myself. I navigate through challenges that come my way with quiet, confident strength. Being forever changed for the better, I can smile with confidence.

-Jen