A few years ago in July, I first called 911 because my husband had abused me. But then hung up. “Short-tempered people must pay their own penalty. If you rescue them once, you will have to do it again.” This is a verse in Proverbs I had read only days ago. I determined that I wasn’t going to hold back. There would be no defending him if 911 called back.

They called back.

Tactic Of Control

As I recounted the altercation to the policeman, I spoke openly and honestly. My husband abruptly rose while I talked, said that he was “done” and created a bed for himself in the living room. I was surprised, although I really shouldn’t have been, because this was a frequent tactic for controlling things during disagreements or what he perceived as arguments.

The policeman left after taking notes and giving me his business card.

“Why are you ‘done'”? I asked my husband. Received no reply so I repeated it.

“I’m tired of listening to your lies and you being a b……” He raged.

“I’m not lying. Just saying what I honestly feel.”

My husband instantly charged me. His arms were down by his sides, fists clenched, and through a tight jaw he threatened, “You’re really making me angry.” After that he pushed me to the ground.

As I stood, he grabbed me around my throat and shoved me into our bedroom. I hit the dresser. When he released his hold, I immediately walked out of the room. He followed.

“You shouldn’t have put your hands on me. I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

I need to call the police. Where’s the phone?  

ARMS Her Journey Class

My counselor recommended the ARMS Her Journey program. The first group I attended impacted me deeply. I finally felt completely validated about what I went through. A breath of fresh air. I took everything in, weeping silently. Any counseling I’ve had was with a Christian. That was important to me. Imagine my relief and the peace when group after group, the topics addressed were always drawn from or linked to passages in the Bible. The groups also began and ended in prayer.

The biggest impact Her Journey had on me was education about what it means to be in an abusive relationship. Physical abuse was spread out over time with sometimes years between incidents. I was consistently blamed for things escalating to the physical level and told that I was the problem. In ARMS, I learned that the physical form of abuse is one of many forms.

The Path to Healing

Thirsty to understand what had happened in my marriage, I worked hard in and outside of group. Just KNOWING what was happening provided the liberty to approach a path of healing.

ARMS is a lifeline for me in this journey. My healing process will be ongoing, because I still interact with my abuser. We share children. Because I know that ARMS is there, I will have practical and spiritual support alongside me. My life would have been drastically different without the support and resources I have received from ARMS.