After The Honeymoon

My first marriage became controlling and abusive. I had a hint when we returned from our Honeymoon and he grew upset that I wanted to do lunch with my girlfriends/bridesmaids who were still in town. Although he never outright refused to let me meet up with them, he told me that I was choosing them over time with him. He pouted, gave me the silent treatment and wouldn’t stop berating me until I finally gave in and told my friends “no”.

Having him mad at me wasn’t worth it. He was my husband and my first priority. Right?

You Will Pay For This

These same actions happened throughout our marriage. I received several days of animosity and the silent treatment for attending my older brother’s wedding two States away. I flew as quickly as I could get there and even left in the middle of the reception to get home the same day but it didn’t matter. My payment for attending my little brother’s college graduation (with babies in tow so it wasn’t extra stress on him at home) was a screaming match and an even longer period of silence.

I was so confused. I was home almost all the time usually and these huge family events were important to me. When I returned from these events, I worked extra hard to make it up to him.

Controlling & Abusive Behaviors

There were many more stories of controlling behaviors and our marriage dissolved. I blamed myself. When I started attending Her Journey, it was because I wanted to help other ladies.

But God had a lot more healing for me to do first. He walked me through one step at a time, often repeating steps as I needed them. He used the ARMS curriculum to validate my experience, ensure me that I wasn’t crazy, to bring peace and to restore me. The time with my leader and God was a balm to my aching soul.

I don’t make huge money, but I do donate to ARMS abuse recovery programs monthly. Their programming was essential to my healing and whether my kids knew it or not, they began healing too. Her Journey was also essential to moving forward in a healthy matter and learning to set boundaries as needed in all my friendships and relationships.

I am so grateful for ARMS!