A Breaking Point

Tricia reached a breaking point in her abusive marriage when her abuser turned aggressive and physical. He had her cornered into the edge of the kitchen counter while she made the kids’ lunch, screaming and yelling in her face after an argument. Tricia knew in that moment she needed to take the kids and leave.

This wasn’t the first time Tricia knew something was wrong. She hadn’t felt joy in a long time, as she was weighed down with the responsibility of raising their four kids—the youngest having barely turned one—without his help. She was numb. Tricia began counseling with the women’s pastor at her church. There she learned that it was okay to set healthy boundaries within her marriage. When she discovered this new freedom, her abuser pushed back, informing her that she needed to leave and not come back until she became the wife he married.

Denial of Abuse

After a friend pointed out the abuse, Tricia denied it and told herself there were other reasons why he behaved that way. It was the medication, his anxiety, and everything he’d been through in his life. This changed when she learned the 15 Signs of an Abusive Relationship. She realized that not only had she been living in an abusive relationship, but that she had entered it on their very first date years ago. The warning signs were there even in the beginning.

When she and the kids left and found help from a friend, they had nothing with them— half the kids were shoeless and there were no diapers for the baby. Tricia prayed hard about what to do next. She felt God ask her, “What about you? You’ve been praying for him. Praying for him to see these things, but he’s not ready. So what about you? Are you ready?” Tricia decided she was finally ready.

It wasn’t long until ARMS was brought to her church. Begrudgingly, she joined at the advice of her counselor, dragging her feet week after week but continuing to go. She knew she was changing after each lesson. She went through Her Journey three times back-to-back, gaining something new each time as God revealed more of His precious truth to her. Her kids became adamant about her returning to group each week because they were seeing a difference.

She was joyful again! 

You Are Not Alone

Tricia worked hard on her healing, which allowed her to pour into her family and lean into her calling. She began to understand what it means to be fully loved by God and to grow with Him. And she found comfort knowing there was so much more to her story. Tricia is thankful for the people God placed in her life to speak the truth and encourage her to keep persevering.

For those who are just beginning the healing journey, know that you are not alone. There are people and programs like Her Journey that are there to help you when you’re ready.

Tricia says “Keep pressing in no matter how hard it gets because God is for you. You are resilient.”

To join a Her Journey group, call the ARMS office Monday-Friday, 8-5pm PST, at 503-846-9284.

by Jaz