by Megan Castle

I divorced my abuser and moved to Florida, chasing safety and sunshine. Yet soon I discovered something almost as disempowering as my marriage dynamics: I couldn’t emotionally let go.

My heart wasn’t much concerned with protection orders, an emptied bank account, or the years spent under my abuser’s manipulation and control. My heart had its own agenda. I urged it to focus on the present, but it popped popcorn and binged on a Nicholas Sparks-version of all of the good times in the marriage.

Have you made the decision to move forward, but your heart keeps pulling you back to the old dream (or shall we say, nightmare)?

Friends kept saying, “Give it time. You’ll look back and wonder what you ever saw in that guy.” But suddenly there I was, two years after the divorce, still questioning my decision.

It feels good to follow your heart. As a culture, we’ve come to believe it’s good advice. It’s the theme of almost every Hallmark and Disney movie. But did you know that following your heart is not Biblical?

Here are three shocking truths I discovered about following your heart.

1. The Heart Isn’t Logical

God understands confused hearts. That’s why the Bible cites the heart 826 times in reference to human will and desire, but never as a component to wise decision-making.

Jeremiah 17:9 reads, “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?”

If our hearts know nothing, why turn there for guidance?

2. The Heart Isn’t Trustworthy

James 1:14-15 says, “Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.”

With hearts so willing to lead us to our graves, why trust them?

3. The Heart Changes

God knows this. It’s why he warns us to guard our hearts and carefully consider whom we associate with. (Proverbs 4:23, 1st Corinthians 15:33)

But here’s some good news: God can change our hearts.

After sinning against God, King David knew that his heart had become dirty. He prayed, “Create in me, God, a clean and contrite heart.” (Psalm 51:10)

When God changes our heart, he changes our will.

Follow Jesus Instead of Your Heart

God never advises us to follow our hearts. He instead invites us to follow him.

  • God Is Logical: Whoever keeps a command will know no evil thing, and the wise heart will know the proper time and the just way. (Ecclesiastes 8:5)
  • God Is Trustworthy: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
  • God Is Stable: God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.“For I am the LORD, I do not change.” (Malachi 3:6)

God found a way to use my losses for his good and restored my life in ways than I never could have imagined. And he can do so for you, too.

PRAYER: Heavenly Father, In Jesus’s name I come before you to confess that I have not fully surrendered my heart to you. I have used my heart as a hiding place, a place of memories to escape to rather than coming to you for healing and refreshment. I’m sorry. I ask you to take my heart and mold it in all of the necessary ways to experience your freedoms. I know that you are close to the broken-hearted and I thank you for carrying me through this difficult season of the heart. You are my forever love. Amen

 

Megan Castle is a wife, mother, and has trained for Her Journey Leadership with ARMS. She serves in prison ministries using her testimony about the radical changes God has made in her life. She also volunteers as a telephone prayer warrior. She is a writer, educator, and attended Multnomah Seminary for Biblical Studies. She currently resides in southern California where she assists her husband in leading a Life Group at North Coast Church. Learn more about her ministry here.