I was working on a playlist of Domestic Violence educational videos for the ARMS YouTube this week and I found one with Steve Harvey. Hired actors used power and control to abuse the other actor at a restaurant, in front of other people. They played two scenarios of a male being very obnoxious to his female partner and her emotional reactions.
You can watch it here.
In both these scenarios, gentlemen stepped up. In the second scenario, it appears that a group of men are discussing what to do about it first.
CPS (Child Protective Services), and Adult Protective Services work to protect the abused. Schools have staff who are trained and may stand up. The same with daycares and retirement homes. Many staff members are what we call Mandatory Reporters. They must report if they suspect child abuse or neglect. The forms at our doctor’s clinics sometimes ask if we feel safe at home. And it appears that even members of the public often stand up to abuse as well.
When we compare these vast efforts to how God responds, we might wonder why He is lacking.
Why does God allow abuse?
God is obviously a supporter of the less fortunate and the underserved. He tells us to take care of the “least of these” and to help widows and orphans. Proverbs 19:17 says that he who is generous to the poor will be repaid. Hebrews 6:10-12 says, “God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.” Also, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.” (Proverbs 3:27).
But what about God’s power to act and prevent abusive situations? Are we allowed to question the Almighty when innocent people are being hurt daily?
Murder in Hillsboro
This last week in Hillsboro, OR there was a homicide of a wife by her husband. They caught him and charged him with second-degree murder. The detectives are actively seeking more information which means they believe there is more information out there that could change or add to those charges in some ways. Physical death, as we know, is the very worst-case scenario of domestic violence. Most people in abuse do not die from a direct attack. But it does happen. And people who do not die physically often experience an emotional death from domestic violence.
Abuse kills in many ways other than physical death. And it destroys relationships and families.
So then, where is He?
The Bible assures us that God will never leave us nor forsake us. That we are valued, one-of-a-kind and precious children. That He feels the same as we feel about our own children. And that nothing (even the worst of sin) can change how He feels about us. He loves us enough to forget our many sins and forgive us.
I know the answer, and you likely do as well.
Free Will
May I just say that I sometimes do not like “free will”? Sure, I like it when I want to choose my activity for the day, choose the job that I want, choose my friends and what to do in my free time.
But I hate it when people use their free will (that God has gifted us) to abuse someone else. It is not fair and it never will be. It is the opposite of how God treats us and how Jesus while on the earth treated others.
Our Lord didn’t want robots. He didn’t want Stepford Wives. God wanted freedom for us that extends far past our ability to choose our daily activity. Freedom to worship, choose our beliefs, raise our families in those beliefs and make a positive impact on the world.
We Choose Sin
With our free will, we sometimes choose sin. And often, our sin affects other people. That is the reason for abuse. Sin is abuse of the free will system that God wants for us. Philippians 2:3-4 says: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” John 15:12 says, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”
When we fail to do these things, it is sin.
What is the answer? We continue to battle sin. Scripture is our sword. When we bathe ourselves in His Word and surround our daily lives with Him, we stay stronger and can battle the sin in our own lives. We also hold others accountable with boundaries when their sin affects us. This does not mean that we publicly call a friend out on Facebook who is perhaps lying or living in a way that we don’t agree with. This does mean that we guard our safety (emotionally and physically) from those who are harming us or those we love with their sins.
Until we live in a perfect world, we must soldier on in this effort.
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16
“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” John 3:17
Julie Bonn Blank
Typical worthless biblebabble that answers nothing.
God values free will more than rescuing tortured children?
He is willing to move heaven and earth to help Peter out of jail, but those little ones whose angels always see the face of the father, those angels cant lift a finger to stop them from being raped and turned into shattered adults who become gay and trans and prostitutes?
God didnt seem to care much about free will when he needed to stop Annanias and Sapphira from setting a bad example on giving money to the church. But if they were abusing thier children I guess He would have waited til judgement day.
There is some serious incoherence in this scenario.
Appreciate your thoughts, Mark!
We need a reasonable reply. What do you mean you appreciate Mark’s comment, he is not agreeing with you. He seems not to believe, his soul is at stake, and you reply lightheartedly? You sound like an airhead, and I don’t mean this in an offensive way but you are taking this too lightly. We need to consult God about this matter and get back with a better answer!
Not intended to be lighthearted or glib about the subject. We appreciate Mark’s thoughts, truly. And we also appreciate yours as well. We stand by what we said in the article. That abuse and mistreatment is not a matter of God causing it, it is a manner of human’s sin. He gave us ALL free will and that means that some people make very bad choices that often affect others in a negative fashion. We believe that God not only grieves with these victims, but also (as He promises) often turns what Satan meant as devestating, into good. We know many victims (incuding myself) who have been able to heal and turn their experience into being an advocate for others and to speak out against the issues, educate the public, help to make changes and assist the victims in becoming true survivors who have grown through their experience and turned it into blessings to help others. Hope that this is helpful. <3
Ok so your saying because we use our free will to sin that is the reason we are abused by others?
What about a child that is born to sevearly mental I’ll parents who abuse the child since birth? was that little baby and young child a sinner? Why was he or she abused when all they could do was drink milk?
Because sadly, our decisions to sin (or not get help) do not just affect us. They also affect other people. :-( In this case that you mention, whether the act is intentional or not, that child is still negatively affected and will have much healing to do.
I can understand that we’re guilty of sin but our father is a fair father he will not purposely allow our parents debate the unholy hell out of us for nothing I was beaten at the age of five until I left the family home my mother was physically mentally and verbally abusive and I’m still healing from this s*** that she put me through!! dad stands by and does nothing about it and watches her torment me and him being in the military should have had some brass balls to stand up to her and say keep your hands off my child but instead he stoods by and watches it happen like the spineless gutless coward that he acts like!! no! narcis are hateful people without any souls or a heart they have a heart of Stone!! narcissists have no feelings no emotions no remorse of who they hurt!
This is what they do once you present a logical argument there is silence and they try and convince us that the devil is making us doubt. Answer the question what does God allow children to be raped because I need answers. My faith in him is dwindling the more mature I become because I realise he had the power and chose to do nothing and watch me suffer. Such a loving caring father right?!.
Interesting perspective. I don’t see anywhere where we are trying to convince you that the devil is making you doubt. We have answered your question in the article above. Please feel free to re-read and give us a call if you have questions or concerns. Know that you are deeply loved by the Father and He understands the pain and the grief.
I feel that you guys stereotype us that have been abused as troublemakers.. I was to scapegoat all of my life in my family’s home I was adopted by two control freaks that were indeed narcissist and still are. I move out of the family home to get my own place my stepmother thinks it was very cute to make a copy of my apartment key and was just barge in my apartment anytime she felt like it to go through my things destroy my property steal from me she is indeed unstable and out of control she is unfit for society a fit for herself on fit around her children. the stepdad stands by a watches all this happen I feel if society is going to stereotype the scapegoat as the troublemaker then maybe the empath should stereotype the narcissist as evil demons living in human bodies!! only the devil that is narcissist will lead flying monkeys to destroy the father’s children.. it’s up to us to pray to the father to leave such a toxic human dictator in our father’s hands to deal with the issue.. oh yes the father does allow abuse to happen to make his children stronger so when the end comes we can start whipping people’s butts that mess with his children!! catch my hint?? he does it to make us stronger so when the incomes and when the battle of Armageddon gets here our father will have his vengeance and the people that hit us over Petty spilled milk and uses us escape goats whipping boys punching bags broken souls broken hearts broken spirits.. they’ll have their day on judgment Day our father’s vengeance will bite them in the butt in the long run!! believe me you can count on it!!
Amen! God indeed will have His vengeance, you can count on that. Victims are never at fault for the abuse that happens to them. We believe and teach that strongly here at ARMS. Yes, abusers often blame their victims but trust me, after 25 years of working with them, we see right through that. Please give us a call if you would like to chat about this more. We are open M-F, 8-5, Pacific 503-846-9284
Thank you! A free zoom class? For us?? You know very well I’ll take that.. I’ve been looking for one of these for a long time!! I’m thankful and grateful that someone acknowledges that it’s not our fault that our parents made us a scapegoat! The key in the bottom line is so we are to love our parents where they are at. But we are not allowed since we know what they are capable of to let them in our house so that they can ridiculous again and hurt us again. I’ve moved out of my parents’ house when I was 22 years old that should have been the end of it right there.. my stepmother had stolen one of my copies of my apartment keys or secretly made a copy of my apartment key.. where in the first apartment that I had resided at in 1996. She was just barge in anytime she felt like it vandalized my place ram sacked my place steal whatever she could get her hands on break things in front of me just because she thinks she could because she was jealous and envious because I was happy and she was not.. she is indeed narcis because she shows fruits of that by their fruits ye shall know them. When I was living with her I was severely beaten black and blue she was trying to drain me of the light that I had in me and I suspect she could have been demon possessed because whatever I had in me interacted with whatever was it was bothering her. And I suspect of what I know now my light was annoying her demons that were in her. My dad acted like a spineless coward because he would stand by and watch her beat me up and not do nothing at the age of 6 years old I was severely beaten by her because I accidentally put my undergarments on backwards so what a child is going to put their underwear on backwards big deal right.. my mother would push me in the floor my glasses would fly off of my face and dad would not do anything to stop her. He watched this crap go on while she would take the wooden spoon and beat the unholy hell out of me with it leaving black and blue marks all over my rear end just because I put my underwear on backwards.. they have no remorse for how I was treated yes I am angry with them very irate with them but if they were on fire I would put it out if they were hungry I would feed them but I have that right to be pissed at what they put me through. I’m not going to take any revenge or vengeance that belongs to the father let the father handle them oh yes his vengeance is better than my anger that I’m feeling right now.. let him deal with it. At the age of 47 years old my stepmother tried raping me of my freedom and raping me of my religious rights I tried to get me to join a Catholic Church and I said so I could be me none like you went to go visit the nuns and I bet that’s where you learned to have your temperamental issues from learning from what the nuns did to the kids.. I said no I believe in the Hebrew faith.. I said I will never condone of worshiping the Pope I will never condone of hurting children because they do not know how to read or write and you tease and ridicule people because they don’t know the stuff that you know anyway why would I want to go to your church? She hit the ceiling because I do not want to comply to her wants and needs and I will not agree with her she hates being exposed to what tyrant she really is. She turns down counseling because her excuses I didn’t know wrong of the way I raised my children. In reality she was afraid of the therapist because she was afraid if she was found out that her foster care unit would have been closed down and dad would have went to jail military prison I would say because while he was in the service and if they would have found out what was going on he would have been putting military prison and he would have got some dishonorable papers against him. The bottom line this day would have been a wad of do do. So yes indeed our heavenly father will have his vengeance the scripture says so. And yes what they did to me in my apartment stealing from me ransacking my place total strangers that they don’t even know busted in their house stole my dad’s guns out of his gun cabinet stole his Gold collection stole a coin clock stole his jewelry box or whatever else they stole and they put all the stuff in my parents vehicle and take off with the vehicle.. they got their vehicle back but all their stuff got pawn in a pawn shop for money. And they did not retrieve it back. See evidence what we sow amongst other people we will surely reap.. if we sow good blessings amongst the people we will be rewarded with blessings if we help others but if we do evil unto others we will reap the curses.. remember what happened to Judas and what Judas did to the Messiah and what did the Messiah say about Judas Iscariot it would have been better for him if he had never been born? The father it doesn’t matter who you are if he could harden Pharaoh’s heart to show his power he could do anything he can soften heart or harden heart and I pray that my heart remains softened I don’t want a hardened heart to where I cannot get into the kingdom because of what happened to me in my childhood and and in my adult years. I pray that I escape the wrath of the father because I love the father I don’t want the father to disown me. He is my beloved and that’s all I know that’s the only best friend I have that can understand me is my heavenly father if the world that I’ve been a scapegoat in all my life hates me then I know I got to be the fathers because the father says if your friends with the world your enemies of the father but if you’re enemies of the world then your friends of the father.. which I would rather say the hell with the world and ditch it in the trash can because I was a scapegoat in it all my life I was lonely all my life and if I need if I have the father and I have friends that understand me then I don’t need anybody else. If I have friends that love me of who I am and don’t condemn me for what I’m not and if they’re not toxic then that’s fine but according to the world and it’s scapegoated ways that they treat us like scapegoat I don’t need their company I could the Father can help me and I can take care of myself I don’t need them for my company I don’t need their company they’re fired their services are no longer needed. But if there’s friends that understand or I are we come from and understand that it’s not our fault that we were beat on abused violated intimidated manipulated s*** on all of her lives.. then we don’t need that I tolerate it my parents because I had to I had no choice now I have a choice I can love them where they’re at even though I’m angry with them.. my forgiveness for them is that they are not sitting in a jail growing old and wondering was abusing me and making me the scapegoat really worth it. My respect for them is they are my parents.
And to add I feel the reason why the father allows children to be abused in adults to be abused to make us strong and give us courage to stand up for his glory and tell the world where to go and how to get there. But do it wisely by telling them we don’t have to obey you we don’t have to listen to you or above the age of 18 we don’t have to tolerate your abuse any further you are not our heavenly father we do not answer to you. That right dear my friend is standing up for what you believe in after your abuse it’s time to wake up sage it’s time to start our recovery empath versus the narcissist.. it’s to me it’s the saints against the devil and the devil against the saints. Narcissist ist is the devil’s flying monkeys and the devil is the king Narcissus our father is indeed an empath because he loves us so much it’s us against Satan and Satan against us and our father is going to help us win this battle I guarantee you mark my words our father will have his way and the world and cannot the world cannot do anything about it they are not in charge our father is.. tell the world to put that in their pipe at smoke it.
you are spot on ARMS team. my mother is angry at God because she said why doesn’t God make special protections for children. I don’t know how to answer her. I just say that I’m quite sure there are graces and protections that we don’t know about when the news reports horrible stories about child abuse. I guess it is set up that we all have free will and all of the abusers are once children that had free will to be kind of users and God doesn’t stop free will I guess she wondered well why not and again I am not God and I don’t think of the big picture because too much for me.
Mark, you bring up a serious question, and I have no answer. That Ananias and Sapphira thing has always seemed to me a real conundrum. There is the principle of the tithe, 10% of income, that churches implore congregants to give. But my understanding is that Ananias and Sapphira were expected to hand over, to just 10%, but the entire proceeds of the sale of the property.
I don’t know. But perhaps Ananias and Sapphira were very wealthy, and greedy, and the proceeds of the sale were a pittance of their worth.
56 years old! where is God? I have suffered from the abuse and mistreatment in my earlier life and It has affected me negatively ALL MY LIFE! Where is he? where is my healing? I have prayed for it many times over and have been met with nothing but silence!! Forgotten and forsaken!
Hello Daren. So very, very sorry to hear this that you have had such a struggle and for so long. Please give us a call at 503-846-9284. We have some healing options for you.
I think the misconception here is in your words… “God values free will more than tortured children.” Personally, I think this article misses some very important ideas. If God valued free will more than anyone suffering from any affliction of any kind, there would be absolutely purpose in Father God sending His Son to die on the cross for all of humanity’s afflictions. We say “Jesus died for our sins”, but He died for our complete and total freedom, not to be under bondage of any kind. It is the devil who seeks to devour and destroy, not God. God does value free will, because being forced or coerced or manipulated into believing something is a form of brainwashing (a type of bondage), but the “more” here is completely incorrect. He sent the son of God, so that lives could be changed, so that those who would torture or abuse would repent and torture and abuse no more. The people who torture abuse are in complete bondage to to the author of lies. Now, discussing why He allows them to reek havoc on the innocent, that is a deeper question… and I can discuss that with you in my email: 2423chadfisher@gmail.com
And before you think I don’t know what I am talking about, I was emotionally, psychologically, and emotionally abused by wife, and even estranged and alienated from my church… I know loneliness, I know suffering. I am even having to pay for my own counseling, because the church was hypocritical in what they said and what they did regarding my personal plight against domestic abuse in my own home. I myself do not understand why He allowed all this to happen to me, but I do know that He did not want me to be abused. The devil wanted that. He did not want me to face this hypocritical standard by my church. The devil wanted that. Yet, I was abused, and I was also having to face a hypocritical action in counseling from a church that claims that it supports all domestic abuse victims, whether male or female or etc. These things did happen. And referring to the church, these were people I have known and trusted for years. Yet, God showed me in this.. something was inconsistent in proclaimed effort and actual effort on part of the leadership. I nearly lost my faith because of all of this. And some people never come to God because of reading about issues like this… but I have known Him a very long time, and what I know about Him is suffering was never part of His original plan. Yes, it is a tougher notion to understand why suffering exists at all, if it was not His original plan… I get that… but what I can say, is that I do not agree with how this issue is portrayed in this article. God does allow free will, but no, He does not truly want any of His children to suffer. That’s what the devil wants.
Thank you, Chad, for your insight and thoughts. Very sorry to hear of your experience but it appears that you are working hard on your healing. So important. Prayers for you.
I feel like your article does explain why bad things happen, which I absolutely agree with. however it’s not explaining why God fails to protect us in the times we need him to. there are many verses that point to God’s protection. as a staunch believer I believed in them but when my tragedy happened, it made me question why God did not protect me at that time. I just want a biblical understanding. I know some people will say it’s because it’s a trial but that still doesn’t really explain why God won’t step up and fulfill his promises when you need him to. the only thing that makes sense to me at the moment is God can but sometimes he just won’t, because of his sovereignty, however this also removes the ideology of fully trusting in God for safety because then you don’t know when he will choose to protect you and when he won’t. anyways I appreciate the article and discussion
I know how hard this is. I have been there too. There is so much pain in loss and what we feel we should have been protected and it didn’t feel like we were. But now being on the other side of my situation, that “quilt story” we hear really is true. If you haven’t heard it, it talks about how here on earth we only see the underside of a quilt or tapestry, and it can be a mess of colors, weird stitching, knots, etc. But above, God sees a beautiful picture that it makes. Someday, we will see how all the knots, funky colors, faded parts etc all come together to be an amazing picture of our lives. He assures us so many times in His Word that He’s got our backs, loves us deeply and sees not just our present circumstances but all our future as well. As I have healed from my experience, I can look back now and it is so much more clear to me why He allowed certain things and certain pain. “If NOT for that, this, this, and this life changing thing never would have happened”. So yes, choosing to trust doesn’t always come automatically and is, as mentioned, often a conscious choice. And so hard when we’ve had so much pain. But God will bless you for choosing to trust and I pray that someday, it will all make more sense to you. He loves you more than anyone ever could.
I experience same thing. CONSTANT ONGOING VERBAL PSYCHOLOGICAL EMOTIONAL FINANCIAL ABUSE and even PHYSICAL before leaving my wife. She is a literal personification of satan. Nothing by societal standards have stopped it. And altho I still believe in God I have cried many many days for Him to just do something to make her stop. To be truthful, I look fwd to the day of her death or mine so it will STOP. Ive felt that God, my Father, who the Bible says hearts are in His hands and He can turn them or all things are possible with God could do something to stop or redirect the incessant, debillitating abuse. Im hurt and tired.
I have felt the very same way and asked the same questions. Where is God when we feel like death is the only freedom from the abuse handed down by others?
Hi Kelli. I feel your pain and have been there, too. Please consider giving us a call M-F, 8-5, Pacific Time. We have resources for you and would also love to pray with you. You are not alone.
I still pray and read my Bible and hold onto faith but certainly have felt confused. I pray to just hold on in faith for the strength of God to take me thru whatever or why ever this is but im not even sure what to pray sometimes… strength? Grace? Patience? Healing? Any advice?
Hi Joseph. We are so sorry to hear that you are in an abusive marriage. No, it will not get better until she makes choices to change but in the meantime, you can work on your own healing. We especially recommend “Mending the Soul” for men. The Genesis Process is also helpful. We would also recommend a counselor/coach who is trained in abuse. We recommend Bonnie Ronstrom, she works with a lot of male victims and they find help with her. Will pray for you. Here is our list of recommended counselors/coaches: https://abuserecovery.org/counseling-coaches/ And here is our list of healing programs that may be helpful to you: https://abuserecovery.org/otherprograms/
Mark dont lose faith bro. Hang on. Wait I say on the Lord.
Mark dont lose faith bro.
Im going to believe that Gods grace is sufficient even thru the pain. Im praying for you, you pray 4 me.
Ok! Just got a good response from Billy Graham. Org. God DOES respond in due time if we pay attention! Ok. So I can see that. The desperate attempts from an abuser who may be empty inside and trying to control thru their hateful behavior yet God is daily breaking their attempts until it crumbles. Takes time! So strength and endurance is the key for the abused.
If there is one thing we can be assured of, it is that we know the ending to our stories. God wins. The accused/abused will be comforted. Perps will be dealt with and not just with judgement but with VENGEANCE (infliction of injury, harm, humiliation, or the like, on a person by another who has been harmed by that person; violent revenge). God promises that this will end well. Keep your hope there and focused on Him. Thinking of it all with “eternal perspective” greatly helps me. <3
And Rick Warren JUST said IT WILL GET BETTER! For me, Im going to find a way to help others bc so many of us struggle with this. Its so prevalent we HAVE to do something. I will do my part maybe thats what God is calling me and Mark and others to do. Thank you all!
First of all. Thank you Julie, for tackeling this subject. I heard you in the comments that you are a victim of abuse as well. Your answers are as biblically sound as they come. I know from having impossible to deal with pain, from the suffering God allowed in my life, that all of these suffering souls in these comments are truly asking, seeking, knocking and feel so totally stuck in an impossible situation.
I was diagnosed with Complex ptsd, I had been abused, neglected, raped… I’ll not go on. My life truly has been a series of unfortunate events. The anger and frustration with God was so real, and only running to drugs helped me for decades. After all of this, after running so long, after begging and I mean BEGGING God so many years to ease the pain, the symptoms… what he Allowed as an answered prayer, was the worst nightmare I’ve ever faced in my life. I was called an abuser by my husband, who left me, took my child and took me to court. Left me penniless, and really twisted and turned a story against me I couldn’t even recognize any truth.
I now sit here, having gotten everything I lost back. I relied on God… I literally CURSED Gods name. Cussed him! Daily. Even after getting everything I lost back. Cussed him daily and still have colorfully worded prayers. God has freed me from so many things… but he REALLY wants me to trust him.
No I didn’t deserve to be called an abuser because of flashbacks that i could only control to a point. I never physically harmed anyone and I still really struggle to see how I was anything but a pain and thorn in my husbands side. I am back with him now. God has called me to forgive, without seeing accountability taken. I have cursed God over this too. But God is showing me I am like Jonah, and my husband is my Nineveh…
This life is but a vapor. It SUCKS that we are here and I have truly prayed for my death more than it would be wise to admit. But this is what I learned. When life got so bad that I was in the emergency room dieing of a literal broken heart, being put on stroke protocol at 30 years old in perfect health other than my diagnosis which very much causes extreme physical problems as well. Let me tell you no matter WHAT THE HELL is happening to you, when you are in that bad of shape you run to your daddy. You literally can’t care about all the questions. It’s only in the aftermath that we cry out WHY GOD!
I hate the free will answer to. I have never felt free. This game has been rigged against me from the start. I think there’s more to it than “free will”. God very much has blocked things he didn’t want me doing, he has guided me where he wants me to go, and he has also let me sit in some pretty horrible places. But I know my purpose now. I truly do, and I know I wouldn’t have anything without the suffering. I have been pruned. God has cut off the branches of me, that others wear proudly. Because of my suffering I can see suffering in others, and helping out younger, suffering generation almost makes me feel unworthy of the space God has called me into.
I say all this to say, I have not figured out Paul’s secret fully yet. But I prayed for it and I see God bringing it to me through perspective on my suffering.
I hate this world. Jesus died on the cross and I hear people saying he despised the shame of it too.
God help us! God save us! God guide us with mercy! Jesus I pray over these heart broken souls God! Hear your children cry! Horrible things happen to those you love, just like you said… because you called Us! If we had not suffered, we wouldn’t know how much we need you. But truly God there is incomprehensible evil in this world. All I can say is. Jesus come back.
For those of you who feel hopeless… know this, if everything in your life fell apart, and the sky started falling you’d run to our father! Don’t let our enemy keep you any longer. Your suffering, as hard as this is to say, is going to be your crown when you learn to trust God… beyond what it looks like and it feels like. I have to learn this too, and prepare myself for the attacks coming my way, just by speaking. But I HAVE to believe my daddy’s got me, because I’ve already seen him move. I’ve already seen enough to know he’s there and that he cares.
God help me to trust you beyond my fleshs capabilities, because truly, you’ve called me to be spirit, not of this world.
Thanks for sharing, Caroline. Our stories are important. Sending you prayers and virtual ((hugs)) today. <3
so you’re saying because humans chose to send that most of the majority of children on this Earth are being abused by their parents are you the guilty ones that beat your children because you sinned against him as well?? just saying!! I was physically abused from the age of five all the way to 22 years old until I left home and that didn’t do any good because my step parents made a copy of my apartment key and was just barge in my own apartment anytime they felt like it to ransack my apartment destroy my peace of mind!! you know what I feel you’re full of it.. I did not do it to them but yet they did it to me they will pay on judgment day and those that agree with them that hurt me will indeed pay on judgment Day!
Because life is unfair.
that’s a cop out!! that’s right so are you saying that our father isn’t fair because life isn’t fair if that’s the case Woe unto you!!!!
“Free will…” what a cop out. God could have set this world up so that child abuse never happens. That it’s not even a thing. People could have free will, but not when it comes to child abuse. He could have created the world however he wanted to. Soooo…since he allows it, then he’s a bad parent. Somebody call CPS.
Hi Linda. Thanks for your thoughts. It has to go both ways though. He didn’t make us to be robots or stepford wives. He DID make a perfect world without sin – that was His plan. But when Adam and Eve sinned, there were consequences for all of us. Here are some verses that talk about our free will to choose and our ability to make the right choices:
Joshua 24:15
“And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
1 Corinthians 10:13
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”
Galatians 5:16-17
“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”
Hope that this is helpful to you today.
God is not abusing people. People abuse people. God gives us a choice and you can either do good and be rewarded after death or you can sit here and blame God for how someone else has treated you.
I’ve read some comments and your replies but I still don’t understand. I’ve suffered mental and emotional abuse my entire life. I have wanted to leave since the time I was a child but I haven’t been able too. here I am almost at 22 years old and Im stoll stuck with all the abuse. Ive done everything i can to get out and I cant. I work a full time job, I save, I budget. But the area I live in is so expensive and its impossible for one person to get an apartment the cost per month is more than a months wages working full time. I dont have any friends and ive tried everything from face book groups to youth groups to chatting with random people trying to find friends and literally 0 christian friends to be had let alone other friends. I had a boyfriend/ fiance at one point but he abused me too and i one day mentally broke and cut things off with him, not that it mattered cuz the abuse at home never stopped when i dated him and hasnt stopped now. I have 0 family memebers that aren’t also manipulative and abusive to turn to and so i feel incredibly stuck. Ive tried reaching out to womens shelters before with no success in terms of getting a spot. I’ve tried calling the domestic violence hotline in case they had any help or resources to give mental and emotional abuse victims, they basically told me sucks to suck. Im tired of the mental and emotional abuse. Im crumbling, and God whose my best friend doesnt seem interested in helping me. Im exhausted, broken, and hurting. I don’t know why God doesn’t help me and it doesn’t seem like anyone else does either. he said he holds his promises, but it doesn’t feel like he does. I’m tired.
So very sorry, Eliana. We understand and feel your pain. <3 Please give us a call. I suspect our Her Jouney classes might be very helpful to you. We are also very happy to talk to you and pray for you on the phone. On the phone, we can also give you some other resources. We are open M-F, 8-5pm, Pacific Time. 503-846-9284 <3 Praying for you today.
I have been abused by bother my father and brother. I lost my mom a few years ago so now I have no one. I want justice and for the abusers to see their wrongdoings and damage they have done but they won’t. I don’t understand how a God who is supposed to be just and loving would allow these things to happen and also allow abusers to get away with it.
We understand. So very sorry you went through this. Please give us a call for some help and resources. 503-846-9284, M-F 8-5 Pacific time.
If it was that easy :(no one could ever understand one’s deep deep emotional pain until it happens to you.. and when that certain kind of emotional abuse contentiously just continues , in one’s life ,that person just starts shutting down emotionally and stops trusting anyone in this life even when they truely wants to help because the emotional damage has been done. ” Death is not the greatest loss in life, the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we still live. well , I just decided to share my thoughts on here , but please no reply back cuz like I said before the damage has been done since 2010 and I’m done talking about it.
Dido, I have been abused by my mum and dad and partner and grandparents and people some of my children and it still goes on today I have stopped asking why I have been attacked from young age, Dr Charles Stanley said trust God to the end no matter what and keep trying to do the right thing it’s not your fault so don’t let your spirit die live your life and rest in Jesus and don’t be scared to step out side the box and take a leap of faith in the right direction some where you can distance your self and feel more safe, keep your chin up 👍
David, please give us a call. We do have resources for you. We are open 8-5, M-F pacific time.
Children don’t have the power to choose their parents they don’t know what is going to happen before they become adults. I believe God has power over everything if he can see you before you arrived on this earth. Then why Couldn’t he prevent abuse in the innocent lives of children. Didn’t he know the consequences and the devasting pain and emotional trauma that would be caused by the people he placed the children around and born from. How can you say you love me but fail to protect me and leave me with the scars of generational curses of a family i never gave my own consent to be in. I never asked to be here. I would have rather not been born to endure such ignorance and injustice of the abusers that destroyed my childhood and adult hood life. i acknowledge they are the perpetrator’s that caused these pains and sufferings un-Benoist to me. God can see all things and knows everything then why allow evil that will do more harm than Good. How do you love when this happened.
I feel these comments, and yes, I’m extremely disappointed with God. Physical and sexual abuse as a child… neglected and eventually abandoned by parents, it continues to have an effect, even at 51. I’ve had trouble keeping employment, relationship issues, 12-step recovery for an addiction I did not cause, and that I still struggle with. I’ve prayed, fasted… confessed every embarrassing thing I’ve done, I’ve read and prayed for hours, on multiple occasions, and for what? It’s amazing God can create Lucifer, plant the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, what, was it so difficult to prevent Adam and Eve before they did anything, just to whisper a kind word before the Fall. It’s a cosmic rigged game, he allows so much evil, yet is responsible for none of it. I’ve experienced so much hurt and betrayal, God, people need you to intervene, will you please do something to help!!!!
There is a lot of pain in these many comments and I cannot fathom what many of you experienced. My abuse, from a baby sitter, sent me into years of shame, guilt, and struggle, even after getting baptized at 21. It got much better, but shame and guilt are tough to shake.
Over the years, working with my wife in ministry and abuse, we have heard stories that are traumatizing and painful, and I would never compare my experiences to those we helped. However, we did learn much from the women and men we helped. First, most felt tremendous anger at God for allowing the abuse, but as time passed (being in a supportive faith community) they recognized that evil exists in our world and that their anger could be directed to their abuser and those bystanders who did nothing (like in the Steve Harvey clip). Second, they found tremendous healing in the God who was a victim on the cross, and that Jesus was with them in their suffering. This is hard to understand but the Bible teaches that God’s way of love, even during humiliation throughout the centuries, overcomes evil. They were able to identify with the suffering Messiah and encouraged us to face that reality as well. Third, they have been men and women who thrived in a faith community, even though they were either hurt or abandoned by one in their past. Being in a community that not only “talked about justice,” but “actively fought for justice and them,” became a place where they have been our best supporters and partners. Finally, they showed us tremendous grit, endurance, and persistence with people. It was a growing experience for Lori and I to see these courageous men and women show forgiveness as well as lovingly hold people accountable for their behavior. It was hard for me to forgive and even tolerate those who had abandoned or hurt them, but they helped me grow in this area.
I agree that suggesting God values free will over intervention is probably not the best way to help victims and survivors. However I have seen firsthand, and been taught by victims, that choosing to live through love and endurance in a faith community is healing and is the way of Jesus/God.
We have learned much from survivors and are closer to God because of them.
Just my thoughts.
Thank you, Ron. So sorry to hear of your abuse. So grateful that you have found your way through and are truly making a difference for others. Thank you for taking that step. We appreciate your thoughts and also pray that you’ve experienced full healing. May God bless your efforts. <3
I believe Abba Yahuah even though he uses abusers to teach his children.. I feel that it doesn’t mean that the abusers get away with what they’re doing.. busy if you think look what Messiah Yahusha said about Judas.. he said that it would have been better for him if he had never been born.. so even though abusers abuse their victims and that there is free will for them to do so does it mean that they’re going to get away with it because there’s free will. it means they are going to face the consequences for hurting Abba Yahuahs children.. Abba Yahuah he don’t play.. he’s no respecter a person what we sow we will surely reap. if we sow good among the brethren there are blessings that we reap if we soak discord among the brethren then we reap the curses the abusers are not different from anybody else.. not meaning to put it bluntly but I’ve been abused by my own family violated beat on you might as well say that I was a slave without the chains.. my mother acted like the warden she literally was a dictator.. if I may be so blunt. she sure love to hit children and leave thick black and blue welts on them.. and she got her jollies doing so. no even though there is free will Abba Yahuah does not let people get away with what they do.. but I chose to do the other thing.. I will not beat people like I was beaten yes I’m angry with her oh yes I’m in range with her but I will not go back to her and do the same thing to her like she did to me.. because that would be me saying well I’m going to be like you mom you know I’m going to be like you and the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy Blue and the man on the moon.. no.. that’s like imitating your parents I don’t think I want to do that.. especially when they are narcissists thinking they’re getting away or what they’re getting away with. vengeance is Abba Yahuahs and he will repay. we are to pray for them we are to forgive them but love them at a distance. we are not to escape back into Alcatraz prison just because they say the jump does it mean we have to say how high. especially when I lived in my own place when they came in there and violated my peace of mind. I put a stop to that by threatening to get the authorities to put a stop to it if they did not leave me alone you have to build boundaries. and I’ve been going by my boundaries the day gave me a chance to be at peace.
Some Christian leaders such as Martin Luther and Jonathan Edwards thoroughly examined the concept of free will.
God and Jesus do not allow abuse. They punish people for doing bad things to others.